I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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