For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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