You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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