There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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