Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize