If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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