I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize