It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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