Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize