yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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