Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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