Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
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It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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