Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
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If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize