found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
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So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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