his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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