he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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