who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
accomplished twins. life is a go
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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