there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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