So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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