I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She's like a pop up book from hell.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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