i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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