You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize