I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize