Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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