tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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