Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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