your parents love me but you hate me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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