Define "chronic" masturbator.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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