bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My dick has a subreddit
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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