The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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