You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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