I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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