I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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