If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize