I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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