when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize