just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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