Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
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She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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