What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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