You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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