The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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