i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i've created a new STD.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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