we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My life is pants optional.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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