too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize