I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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