All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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