I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
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I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
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I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize