And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
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Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
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the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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