I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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