my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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