I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize